🔥Get roasted — $10
A real human expert — not an AI bot

Get your website roasted by a human, not a bot 👋

AI tells you what's wrong. We tell you why — and what to do.

Every other “roast my site” tool spits out an instant AI score. We don't. A senior UX/UI professional sits down with your site by hand — heuristic audit, homepage review, UX writing check, and a prioritized fix list. For the price of a coffee.

Need inspiration? Try
☕Just $10 — less than your morning latte. 3 business days turnaround.
UX
Your Roast Report
Heuristic audit · 27 findings
Hero CTA is buriedPrimary action sits below the fold on mobile
Headline is feature-ledLead with the outcome, not the mechanism
Solid visual hierarchyEye flow guides users naturally to the form
Real
findings!
Friendly
tone 💛
✨ What you get

A real UX audit. Done by a real person.

Instant AI tools give you a number and a generic list. We give you considered, human judgment that understands your business — no AI shortcuts, no copy-pasted templates. Here's what lands in your inbox:

Heuristic Analysis

Your site evaluated against Nielsen's 10 usability heuristics — the gold standard for spotting friction, fast.

Homepage & Structure Review

Information architecture, hierarchy, and layout reviewed against conversion-centered design principles.

UX Writing & UI Design

Microcopy, CTAs, and headlines checked for clarity and conversion — alongside the visual design, typography, color, spacing, and accessibility behind them.

Prioritized Action List

Every finding ranked by impact and effort, so you know exactly what to fix first (and what to leave alone).

🤖 vs 👋 The difference

The internet is full of AI roasts. This isn't one.

Instant AI tools are fun, free, and fine for a gut check. But when it actually matters, you want a human who's reviewed hundreds of real sites — not a model guessing from your HTML.

🤖

Instant AI tools

  • A score in 2 minutes, gone by lunch
  • Generic feedback that fits any site
  • Guesses from your code, can't judge intent
  • No idea what your business actually does
  • Can't tell you what to fix first, or why
  • Nobody to ask follow-up questions
That's us
👋

A senior UX human

  • Considered judgment from 10+ years of real work
  • Specific to your site, your goals, your audience
  • Understands the business behind the buttons
  • Prioritized by real impact vs. effort
  • Grounded in proven frameworks, applied with taste
  • A real person you can reply to

Good judgment takes more than two minutes. That's the point.

👀 See it in action

A peek inside a real roast.

Here's a snippet from a sample audit — the kind of finding you'll get, written the way you'll get it. Friendly, specific, actionable.

PDFexample-saas_roast-report.pdf
2 pages · Preview below Download full sample

example-saas.com

Audited last Tuesday · 27 findings

6.4
/ 10 overall
Room to grow ✨
🔴 High impact
Your headline tells, it doesn't show

“All-in-one platform for teams” is feature-led and vague. In the first 3 seconds, visitors don't know what problem you solve. Lead with the outcome — “Ship product without weekly status meetings.”

Value proposition · Outcome over features
🔴 High impact
Visibility of system status is weak

Form submissions don't confirm success or failure. Users click “Sign up” and wonder if anything happened — a common cause of duplicate submissions and drop-off.

Nielsen Heuristic #1 · Visibility of system status
🔴 High impact
Color contrast fails WCAG AA

Light gray on white (#A8A8A8 on #FFFFFF) falls below the 4.5:1 ratio. Users with low vision and anyone reading outdoors on mobile will struggle. Darken to #595959 minimum.

WCAG 2.1 · Accessibility
🟡 Medium impact
Hero has four competing CTAs

Sign up, demo, watch video, contact sales — all primary-styled. Pick one. Single-CTA heroes outperform multi-CTA heroes by roughly 17%. Move the rest below the fold.

Conversion-Centered Design · Single primary action
🟢 Low effort win
Strong social proof, hidden away

Customer logos and testimonials sit at the bottom. Move at least one trust signal above the fold — even a single “Trusted by X teams” line reduces first-impression friction.

Conversion-Centered Design · Trust & reassurance
🛠️ How it works

Getting roasted is easy. Four steps, no surprises.

1

Drop your URL

Submit your site and tell us what you're worried about. Takes 60 seconds.

2

Pay $10

Less than a fancy latte. Secure checkout, no subscription, no upsells.

3

We get to work

A senior UX pro digs in. Real eyes, real expertise, real care for your business.

4

Roast delivered

Get your full report in your inbox within 3 business days. Ready to act on.

🎓 Who's roasting

Not a bot. Not an intern. A senior UX pro.

Every audit is done by hand by someone with 10+ years designing and shipping interfaces for startups and global brands. We bring industry frameworks, not just opinions.

Nielsen's 10 HeuristicsWCAG 2.1 AccessibilityJobs-To-Be-DoneConversion-Centered DesignUX Writing Best Practices
🤔 Questions?

The fine print, made friendly.

Within 3 business days of payment. Sometimes faster — we'll never make you wait longer than that without checking in.
A clean PDF with annotated screenshots, organized by section: heuristic findings, homepage review, UX writing notes, UI observations, and your prioritized action list. Easy to share with your team.
Most of them! Landing pages, SaaS marketing sites, e-commerce stores, portfolios, blogs. If it's a website with a goal, we can help. We don't (yet) audit web apps with logins or complex flows behind paywalls.
There are, and they're genuinely fun for a quick gut check! But they give you a generic score in two minutes by guessing from your code. They don't understand your business, can't prioritize what to fix first for your goals, and there's nobody to ask follow-up questions. This is a real senior UX professional, reviewing your site by hand. Different thing entirely.
No catch. We believe good UX advice shouldn't be locked behind $5,000 consulting fees. The roast is intentionally focused — homepage + key UX surfaces — so we can keep it affordable while still giving you real, human value. If you want a deeper engagement, we can talk.
Never. "Roast" is for the vibe — the actual report is constructive, specific, and kind. We tell you what's working too, and we frame fixes as opportunities, not failures.
Absolutely. One round of clarifying questions is included — just reply to the delivery email. For deeper conversations or implementation help, we offer optional follow-up calls.
☕ Ready to get roasted?

Let's see what your site is hiding.

Drop your details below and we'll get to work. $10. 3 business days. Real insights.

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